Junie's Online Thoughts
Thursday, August 22, 2002
Im out until Wednesday. Going to my 10 year class reunion in Wisconsin.
Breathe, I tell myself. Sometimes life is hard. Last night at noodle was the first time in nearly two weeks where I sort of felt like myself again. It took awhile--I shifted between wanting to cry--then feeling okay when business picked up. Tips sucked, but at least the movement took my mind off my throbbing head for a while. I finally wrote myself a list to help clear my mind. What is it about Stephanie that I crave so much? What about her do I admire? And which of those things will I be able to achieve in real life? It gave me a bit of clarity....but still I want things NOW and EASY. Why cant I just shift into this other person?
Here are the whoppers that Im wrestling with today. Is the bounty hunter chase wrapped up in my 10 year class reunion and those wishes to be better, happier, more complete? Is it instead a welcome distraction to the heated Africa plans? Is it the only way I can express my boredom and unhappiness at my current job, my exhaustion of floating through my life without a real passion (excluding Jeremy, of course), my desire to be more confident despite those darn persistant body issues? Is it the push for me to find some mentors and peers, find some direction, find myself admist the usual flurry of activity that I create? Is it a genuine desire to be something that others may not see in me--that tough gal who doesnt take bullshit, who can stand up for myself and do my job, who is fearless and determined and willing to face risks?
Heres an idea for someone that would make them a lot of money. They can be a Direction Boss. For a fee, they will tell you what you should be, how you should do it and connect you with people to help you. Who wouldnt pay big bucks for that??
Wednesday, August 21, 2002
Can you say: unmotivated? Have I done any work today? Not really. Ive searched the web for sites on jobs, Ive waited for a call from the P.I. that never came and grew frustrated. The problem is that I think I am living in a fantasy land. I honestly hope that someone that I meet by pure luck, will have pity on my soul, will offer to take me under their wing and let me follow them around for a month while I learn how to be a P.l./agent. I seriously doubt such a thing exists outside of Hollywood and convenient mystery novels, but does that stop me from imagining it? Hell no!
Big thanks to friends and family who have offered to hook me up with their friends who are cops and agents. Everyone I talk to can give me more information and leads to what I need to do and if its a realistic possibility. Here is where Ive come so far:
Bounty Hunter: possibly dangerous, requires gun permit and gun ownership (which aint happening right now, if ever), seems scary but exciting, must know lots of laws and rules about bonds and criminals. Most bail bonders are right next to the prisons/jails, which isnt the greatest in terms of neighborhoods. But more chasing and action amongst the phone calls and waiting and drek.
Private Investigator: much less dangerous. May or may not require gun permit, but most dont need gun ownership, seems less scary but also less exciting, must spend lots of time on the phone, waiting in cars during surveillance, minimal chasing, more observation and report writing.
Either one would be totally find if I had a partner to do everything with and coach me. But thats not happening. Should I be thankful that Im a dreamer or should I be smacking my head against the wall??????? Argh.
We watched Midnight Run last night. Supposedly the inspiration for the books. I dont know why I assume that this process will be instantaneous and easy. It took Evanovich two years just to research the book before she would write it. She found sargaents and detectives to help her with the details....its not like she's living this life, shes just writing about it, which is a whole other ball of wax. Its supposed to sound easy and exciting--if it wasnt, the book would be boring and no one would like it. She's a good writer, but not reality. If only I wanted to be a writer...then I could be whoever I wanted to be in my books. Ive been sitting here all day trying to think of stories I could write...but Im not a compelling writer and I dont have a story burning inside of me. ARGH!!!!!! WHy cant i know what I want to do with my life? Why cant someone come along and say--do this and here's someone to show you how. Its not like I need someone to rescue me.....I just want some direction. ARGHHH!!!!!!!!!!
Boy, its been an exhausting and painful couple of days. Its been 1 1/2 weeks since the advent of the bounty hunter inspiration and im still humming, albeit at a much slower and less frenetic pace. I talked to Michael, who turned out to be a skip tracer that used to be a bounty hunter. He was very helpful in answering my questions, although I thought of many more after I got off the phone with him. Im supposed to call a PI over lunch today (actually I was supposed to call him yesterday, but I had called in sick with a migraine. I had spend the better part of Monday evening bawling my head off for about two hours out of frustration, weariness and the unfairness that my life does not resemble the smooth, convenient life of an imaginary book character and is instead complicated, overflowing and stressful. And hard. So I couldnt face a day at work, and did have a headache. It wasnt a complete sham. I still have the headahce, and am still haunted by all things detective.)
I leave in two days for Wisconsin for my class reunion. Havent really thought much about it, to tell you the truth. Ive been too busy reading an Introduction to Private Investigation, watching Midnight Run, re-reading One for the Money, pondering if I have what it takes to be a PI (since circumstances lead me to believe that being a BH at this juncture is unrealistic, considering I would have to probably break up with Jeremy on the gun issue alone) and doing my part to get into shape. I tell you, obsessions kill my libido and give me mild depression, but they do wonders for my appetite and urge to become a buff, ass-kicking chic. Ive lost four pounds, exercised almost every day and made an effort to be watchful of my surroundings and people around me.
Ghana stuff is at a standstill. We need to get our passports in order and to find out about storage. Then I need to schedule a doctor's appointment, Jeremy needs to get glasses and I need to start cleaning out my shit. I havent had the energy or interest to do much in the way of Africa, short of deciding which mystery novels and zines to take with me and whether I am going to pay $500 for the detective training class that I can complete while I am in Ghana. (Still havent decided....I guess it depends on what I get for my car when I sell it.) But thats where I am.
If anyone who reads this knows of any cops, detectives, private investigators, skip tracers or bounty hunters, please let me know if they would be willing to talk to me. Thanks.
Monday, August 19, 2002
To get an idea of what Im talking about--heres the low down, from what I understand of it. When you are arrested, if you post bail, you get a bail bonder to post the money so you can be released. If you dont show up at your court date, you are known as FTA (Failure to Appear) and in come the fugitive apprehension agents (aka bounty hunters, recovery agents, Skip Tracers). They use Skip TRacing (research at your house, with family & friends, surveilance, etc) to locate you. (According to Larry, P.I. extrodinaire, this is the hard part.) Then they get you--preferably with a team--to cuff you and escort you to the station. If the agents find you within 180 days, they receive about 90% of the bail bond back (this is their incentive for finding you) and the bounty hunter gets a certain percentage of the bond as payment. If they cant find you past that--they lost more or all of their money, but the police department still wants to find you. (Im not sure if the agents keep looking or if they leave it to the police.) The hours are flexible, the work can be tedious and hard and challenging, but it can also be fun and exciting and fall within a spectrum of danger.
That, is one of my first questions to Michael. Do you get to choose your cases or are you assigned them, regardless of the degrees of danger and risk? I would assume that rookies wouldnt get the hard-core fugitives, and I dont quite understand how you get a team at the takedown--if you work as a team the whole time or if you call someone in when you find them. All I know, is that it sounds like a lot of work and skill to find them and have connections enough to know what you're doing.
Thats not to say that Im completely discouraged. If this is what I want to do, then by god, now is the time to do it. Im 28. Im not getting any younger, but Im tired as hell of working dead end jobs that I hate. If my passion is here, then Im game. If I couldnt hack the danger (or if Jeremy couldnt hack it...), then maybe I could still go the P.I. route. Still exciting, with less risk to my personal well-being. Of course, it doesnt sound as cool as "BOUNTY HUNTER." :)
It began at the place of inspiration--the book and the author. Thankfully, Janet Evanovich has an excellent website with tons of information. Granted, its geared more toward aspiring writers than aspiring bounty hunters, but she explained that she researched for two years before writing the book, that she talked to numerous apprehension agents, cops and other law enforcement agents and learned how to fire a gun. From there I found Private Investigator's school--with an intense listing of topics and lessons--right up my alley and available through home school for $500. Then, I called my only cop connection, Jessica, who recently took a leave from the force to have a baby. The call was basically a bust--she had no experience with recovery agents and didnt know a thing about them, other than a suspicion that most cops dont like them. AFter a few more calls to gain some support that I wasnt just a lunatic on an impulsive whim, I decided to talk to the folks on the job.
Today I called Cathy Joyce, Bail bonder and asked to speak to a recovery agent. Instead I got her son, Michael Green, and he is going to talk with me on the phone after work today. Then I called Paul Stewart, bail bondsman, and gave him my schpeil. He passed me to Larry Morrison, P.I., Bail Apprehension Agent and veteran of law enforcement for 21 years. He gave me a brief summary of where I should start--I had to be at least 25, have a fire arms permit, get some training and then find a bonding agency to represent me and give me cases. Being a P.I. is completely different than being a bounty hunter ("Oh thats what they call us nowadays," he had laughed)--Private investigators do more executive security and civil cases, where a bounty hunter is almost like a cop. You are chasing FTA (Failure to Appear) fugitives, you find them, you arrest them, cuff and pat them down, then bring them into the station. He suggested that women could very much do the job, but never to work alone, because all houses have front and back doors ("or side windows, like I learned last night.") Larry caught a few guys on the Ten Most Wanted list (a little more than I would be interested in doing) and said he would be more than willing to connect me to people who would help me along the process. (He declined my offer for lunch...too busy I guess.) I think I will wait until I talk to Michael on the phone and find out about some of the training available here in Atlanta.
So far its pretty exciting and surreal....and Im still not shaken from my convictions that I want to do this...but still not 100% sure I have what it takes. Im going along for the ride--I will talk to a few more apprehension agents, call the school and get some other information that I can do without going to school.
The plan at this point is to spend my time in Ghana getting in shape and getting tough. Reading about how to catch a crook, the policies of being a P.I. and bounty hunter and learning some basic self defense moves. I doubt there is any work like this availabe in Accra, but I can psyche myself up for the real thing when I come back. Besides, I can use that time to decide if this is what I really want to do with my life. Julie Dorn, P.I. Julie Dorn, Bounty hunter. Julie Dorn, fugitive apprehension agent. Has a nice ring to it, eh?
As previously mentioned, I became addicted to a book series by Janet Evanovich, about a 28 year old bounty hunter named Stephanie Plum. After finished the third book on Friday, I was inspired. So inspired that it has taken over my life. All I could think about was Stephanie. Her life. Being a bounty hunter. I slept on it, and when I woke up on Saturday I had decided that I wanted to become a bounty hunter. This book, this idea struck a cord in me and wouldnt let go. When I was a kid, my sister and I would pretend we were private investigators (a la Remington Steele and Moonlighting) and we even made a scrapbook filled with drawings and bios of our criminals. But being a P.I. didnt seem like it was something I could actually do--I had no role models, I didnt actually know a P.I. or how to become one, so I set it aside. Until now. Now, its back with a vengeance.
So at Noodle on Saturday, I was preoccupied with my passion, trying to decide if I was just caught up in a good book or if this was what I really wanted to do. About 9 pm, the place filled up and started to get busy. I had a table of four by the bar, and carried a tray with their drinks (4 waters, a diet coke, two 22 oz. Sapporos with glasses). I removed one glass of water, and the tray tipped. The beers hit the soda, which hit the water and the entire lot of them fell one after another on the floor and broke into a million pieces. The whole restaurant stopped for a moment--and stared at the disaster of a waitress I had become. A rush of people appeared--the dishwasher with a broom and mop, Lili taking the tray and beer from my hand--and I went off to the back to change out of my beer soaked shirt. Two minutes later, when I emerged and tried to get a grip on myself (although I was a quivering mess on the inside), I learned that I had five brand new tables and they all stared at me while I tried to recover and deliver my original drink order without giving them a bath. I think I did okay, and it certainly took my mind off of my book for a while, but damn, it was a hard night.
The next day was a reality check. Okay, Im not STephanie Plum. I dont have a cousin Vinnie, I wont fall into a job as a bounty hunter, nor will I have a team of pros to back me up and train me as I fumble and learn while tracking fugitives. If I want to do this, I will have to work for it. That means school, studies, practice and putting myself to the test. Do I have what it takes to be a recovery agent?
