Junie's Online Thoughts
Saturday, May 17, 2003
Last night, Heidi held her goodbye party for work on our roof. It was fun, although sometimes awkward since some of her work folks didnt mindle with us non-work folks. They all left by around 6 pm and Erin and I decided to drive to get a DVD and a pizza instead of going to another party. On the drive home, Erin was talking on her cellphone to her friend and gripped my arm. I thought she was responding to what her friend said, but there was a dead person in the road. It was right on the main road and no one seemed very alarmed. No cops, no screaming, nothing. In fact, I wouldnt have noticed if Erin hadnt pointed it out to me. I didnt have my glasses on, so it looked like some antlered animal covered in a gunny sack. I guess it was a very bloody dead man with a branch on top of him (I guess to cover him up.) Scary scary stuff. Its sad....and a miracle that this doesnt happen more often. People drive so crazy and so fast here, the accidents should be happening all over the place. I know they happen alot on a stretch of road from Accra to Kumasi, but Ive never seen one right on Oxford Street. Needlesstosay, it freaked us out for the rest of the night.
Today is Heidi's last full day here. We went to tradefair, thinking there would be lots of stands with crafts. Instead there were only two small shops. I bought a few gifts and some beads...then we ate some egg and bread...and came home. We're going to see a movie tonight, then eat at The Orangery with a huge posse of people. Im soooo sad that Heidi is leaving..I think she's my favorite person here and she's leaving. Its sad.
Friday, May 16, 2003
AH, one of those days. Ive had about twenty people tick me off already this morning, so Im not having a good day. Im surrounded by people who are either leaving for home and are SO excited, or who have lots of time here and are sick to death of Ghana. Im sliding between each camp...today Im a bit over Ghana, and have been all week long, but perhaps that will go away next week. Its hard...its been really hard.
Erin has been having a rough time of things as well. She's been a bit frazzled with some issues back home, and has had troubles getting reimbursed from the universities for her trip home to visit them last month. There's this woman down the street whom she befriended and the woman has turned into a bit of a stalker. The woman is nice enough, but very aggressive, and calls her every day very early, she demands that Erin say hello to her every single time she passes, she will call and say, oh i am mad at you--oh im just kidding, she will demand that Erin eat at her house 3-4-5-6 times a week. Erin's tried to set boundaries, but Ghanaian friendships are already so hard to negotiate, now its kind of weird.
Erin went to this lady's house last night and was talking about her frustrations with the reimbursements and family stuff. The lady's husband was like, oh, you white people, your problems are nothing. She left, and was really upset. Yes, its true, her problems, our problems are always going to be higher up the sliding scale than the typical Ghanaian. We dont have to worry about starving or having money to go to the hospital. She will always lose that argument of whose problems are bigger. BUt isnt being a friend about caring how your friend is? Dont feelings count for anything? Yes, Erin's not dying but she's really stressed out. Is there no middle ground??? Can there be no jump between poor Ghanaian and rich American? I havent had much luck either on this friend front. Its sad to say that the entire basis of friendship changes if its between a foreigner and a regular, financially struggling Ghanaian. Most Ghanaians live hand to mouth, they dont have money for things, they live day to day. They dont talk about gender or environmental issues or nationalism or other concepts. Thats not to say they're ignorant...if they can read, most Ghanaians read the paper every day. If they cant read, they listen to the news and radio every day and are very well versed on what is happening locally. But when your basic needs are not being met, you cant really care about broader social issues, you know??
When it comes down to normal Western customs for friendship. all the rules go out the window. So....how to reconcile that.....must one feel guilty for living the way they do when their friend is much poorer? Must they hide all of their problems and feelings because their life is much easier than their friend? Must they only discuss the mundane, immediate community stuff instead of bigger issues? Even the pace is different...here things are sooo aggressive. You meet someone for ten minutes and they send you emails professing love and how much they miss you and its confusing. How can you say such things when you dont even know who I am?????? You dont love ME...if anything you love the idea of me, which is also hard from a Western perspective. We dont openly ask our friends for money. Thats rude. If you're friends with a Ghanaian for six months and then they say they want you to get them a passport, it feels cheap and like being used. But here, its not. All the rules change...and you have to find out the rules as you go along...and most of them move against the grain of what I conceive of as rules of friendship. Argh.
Thats it for today....Im going home to make banana bread and decompress. Thanks Stacy and Gma for the recipe. Im out.
Thursday, May 15, 2003
Not having such a good day. Last night we went to a friends house for a girl night dinner. Great gal, terrible host. It makes all the Wisconsin hairs stand up on the back of my neck when I see the host of the party ignore all of the required duties in my mind and act quite rudely. Ignoring requests for food or drinks, leaving the group to talk on the phone for 20 minutes *twice*, hiding in the back room with her giggly friend for 30 minutes, it made me crazy. We got lost on the way home, tried to get gas but all of the stations were closed and when Jeremy tried to move the car, he killed a flower pot and scratched the front of the car. ARGH!!!!!
We were supposed to go to a bead village today, but because we need Erin to drive, it cant happen. There are lots of police stops along the way and Erin doesnt have an international driver's license. We do, but cant drive the stupid car without freaking after ten minutes. We decided to try it on Saturday, since I had plans and so did Erin.
Im meeting French class Rachel for lunch. She's going home in two weeks but decided to skip the rest of French. Lucky gal. I like the teacher, but we move soooooo slowly. We will only be up to chapter 2 when the class ends. I think the only way Im going to really learn french is if I learn it on my own outside of class and then just use the sessions at Alliance to hear French and try to speak it. Signing off for now.....
Tuesday, May 13, 2003
MEt with Erin, Pernilla and Jeremy for a wonderful breakfast. Yum. Pernilla is heading up to the North, then leaves in less than two weeks. Argh...yet another friend leaving.
Today is defrost-the-frig day. Its a slow process and usually includes flooding the kitchen floor because we can never catch the stream of water as it leaves the back of the frig. Oh well....the ice was again taking over the shelves and we were losing precious frig space. If you left something leaning against the ice, it would be consumed by it...the nutella is half eaten by ice.
Nothing else today except errands and groceries. Mailing two letters....to a friend and to my grandma. Slow day...love it. Not very interesting today in terms of cultural or travel insights. Too preoccupied with regular life...when it rained a few days ago and flooded the bathroom, it drenched the basket filled with my favorite zines and a bunch of them were mutated and molded before I realized it. Now they are spread out on the dining room floor to dry, but some are a lost cause....so sad, but replaceable, I think. Hope everyone is well...thats it for me today. Oh, a special shout out to my sister for her help with Jeremy's credit card bill. THANKS!!!!!
Monday, May 12, 2003
Had a great time at the beach with Heidi. We ended up going to Kokrobite instead of Brenu, both due to the long, long lines for the trotro and because of the 4 1/2 hour drive time to get there. Kokrobite is only 30 minutes away and cheaper. Besides, Heidi had never been there before. As always, it was great--the food, weather, people. The only strange thing was how different the beach was since the last time we were there. The currents have eaten away huge portions of the beach and patrons were advised to swim only between the two flags (about 100 meters long) because otherwise we could be swept out to sea. We talked, played backgammon and cards, relaxed and bonded. I left after lunch on Sunday, and Heidi planned to stay through Tuesday morning.
French went fine today. Rachel told me that she is going home to Australia in two weeks for a six week vacation, so after two weeks, she will have to quit French. Im s ure I'll still see her around; she's a nice gal.
We're having Nina and Leon over for supper tonight. She's bringing the tofu, we're making the stirfry. Then its a busy week this one and next. Tomorrow Im defrosting the frig and freezer (again), Wednesday is class, then a girl-night at Sadaf's house, THursday Im having lunch with Rachel at the Orangery (my new fav restaurant), Friday has Heidi's going away party, dinner with Heather at the Orangery and a jazz concert at Alliance, Saturday we are going to Aburi to ride bikes or go to a bead village, Sunday is Heidi's leaving day, then all next week is a film festival at Alliance. Every day they are showing either a French or German film and the directors/actors/etc came to Accra to speak. Whooo wee....busy busy gal.
