Junie's Online Thoughts
Saturday, November 08, 2003
Today is the one-month anniversary since Chris died. Certainly not a happy anniversary, but a necessary one. I dont really know how I feel. Sad, displaced, eeeshy.
Ive tried to get a handle on things here by cleaning, balancing the checkbook, sorting my papers. Still doesnt make everything better, but at least I know where everything is.
Theres a full lunar eclipse tonight.
Many thoughts to Trish, and Mike, and Jeremy, and Taylor, and Chris.
Friday, November 07, 2003
Its been an interesting day, full of lessons. This morning, on the way to Planned Parenthood, I learned that Atlanta highways are still scary and confusing. As I received my yearly exam, I learned that 1) they no longer carry my brand of birth control pills so I have to drive halfway across town to Wankermart and 2) it took me ten months to lose 21 pounds and only one month to gain back eleven.
At Tires Plus, I learned that paying $965 for an entire new brake system can hurt a little, but it hurts a lot less than the aftermath of dying brakes. I learned that I finally had to see Jeremy leave for Ghana. (We didnt know if the email would reach Lothar in time, and I left my notebook in WI. So I had to call our friend Sadaf, the only number from Accra that I had in my address book, to ask her to call our friend Ross to call Lothar to tell him not to show up at the airport tonight but to come Saturday night instead. Ah, the circles of communication we have.)
Today, however interesting, was not a day for job hunting. (Although I did apply at the computer kiosk at Target.) I did get a good walk, though, and recovered from last night's grueling acid reflux. (Until I ate a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and made it worse again.)
Have a safe, happy flight, Jeremy. Sorry again DAve but I'll see you tomorrow. Im thinking of you, Mo. Thanks for your car advice, Chris and Stacy. Thanks for mailing me stuff, Mom. Thanks again, Leah, for the cellphone. Hooray!!
Thursday, November 06, 2003
Its raining. Again. Blech.
Jeremy leaves for Ghana tonight. Double Blech.
My stomach is queasy. Im not feeling so good. Blech Blech Blech.
Wednesday, November 05, 2003
Damn. Pushed the wrong button and the computer ate my blog. ARrgh. What I said was, thanks to Leah, who hooked me up with her cellphone (the cheapest way for me to get a working phone for a decent price) and for driving us around and for having dinner with us. You rock!
Today was a running around day....to the mall, to the Dollar Store, to the coffee shop, to the International Farmer's Market. There are some things I really like in Atlanta, despite my feeling overwhelmed, and its really fun to do them and get giddy.
Earl, the car, has decided to begin his breakdown after making the drive from WI to GA. Lately he's developed this awful rusty hinge noise when you turn the wheel too hard, this more awful intermittant grinding gear noise when you push on the brakes, and the automatic window on my door stopped working. It was only after much pounding and fiddling that Jeremy got it to move back up, in the rain, of course. Each time another ailment arises, it smells like huge piles of burning money to me and I just cant bear to bring him into the shop until I get a job and know that I can pay for the repairs. I cant wait too long though...I dont want to die on Atlanta streets either.
I cant believe Jeremy is leaving tomorrow. The next two months will be busy, but I will still miss him like mad. I hope his plane ride is uneventful and he arrives into Ghana safely.
Congrats again to my sister and Chris. Happy marriage to you!!!!!
Thats it for now....
Tuesday, November 04, 2003
First and foremost, thanks to Kim and Paul for letting us stay at their house for free, and for being good friends and rocking my world. Whoooo hoooo!
Second of all, its really weird being here in Atlanta. Its hard to transition from Atlanta being the home where we lived for a while, and Atlanta being the home we return to. Things are familiar but so foreign. We drive down the street, periodically yelling, "ARRRRGHHHH!" and then move on. More condos have been built. Target has enlarged. Gas prices have increased. And the powerful machine of the U.S. is totally messing with my mind....making me feel inadequate or fat or aimless. Where is my house? Where are my children? Where is my fine car or my career or my size 30 jeans? Why am I mooching a bed off my friends, why am I puffy and jobless and lacking all direction? Good Christ!!
Third, thank goodness for Buford Highway and Morning Glory. I satisfied my early urges for overly cute Korean stationary and spent too much money there yesterday.
Forth, Atlanta traffic sucks. When did everyone start driving like a meathead?
Fifth, I miss my damn cat. I miss having my own apartment. Im antsy to return to "real" life with a regular job and regular paychecks and regular days with my friends and regular mail and regular life. It so funny...thats exactly what I wanted to escape from one year ago when I left for Ghana. But right now Im in a weird chosen paralysis, killing time until I return to Ghana, yet another chosen paralysis, where I just play and do nothing to advance my plans of career or grad school or even make any big decisions with my life. Good lord, am I becoming a loser? A slacker? What will become of me???
Needless to say, Im a bit of a mess right now. My life is contained in three overflowing suitcases, seventeen piles of papers, swirling in the confusion of not knowing where anything is (in either my room or my storage space) and not having any sort of schedule. I cant continue the rhythm of Ghana life in Atlanta because it just doesnt work. When you life like that in Africa, you're damn lucky. When you live like that here, youre a bum. And nobody wants to be a bum. So everyone, wish me luck. That I will find a job immediately, that I will get my shit together and that all will be well. Thanks y'all.
Monday, November 03, 2003
Oh my gosh. Im so overwhelmed right now. I think I put off dealing with culture shock when I got home in September and dealt with other things instead (Stacy's wedding, seeing friends and family, Chris's death, seeing Jeremy.) Now that Im here in Atlanta for a while, its hitting me HARD. Whoosh.
