Junie's Online Thoughts
Thursday, May 06, 2004
I felt like a studio exec today, making a detailed pitch to Jeremy on all the plus sides of going home. Despite my fears, and conflicting emotions, I really think its the right thing to do. First and foremost, I'd like us both to see Mike. He doesnt need to be in some horrible state for us to come home. I think we both need to see our families in general, and they need to see us. Especially with the absence of Chris, I think the Pool/MN posse would be refreshed by the arrival of Jeremy, and he would get a chance to process life in MN without his brother being around (which he hasnt gotten to do really, since Chris died.)
Second, I think we both are too comfortable here. Neither of us is particularily motivated, so neither of us gets everything we need to done. Even if we stayed until late June, I dont think Jeremy would be as affective on his interviews as he would be if he got a total break from Ghana. If he goes home, he has time to sort through his materials, realize what he actually needs to be focusing on, and can come back this fall with a pointed agenda and more umph to deal with interviewing strangers. He's not losing his funding by leaving and coming back, and being forced to break up the project into manageable bits (leaving, coming, leaving, coming, leaving) is an added bonus when facing something as large and scary as a dissertation.
Thirdly, Jeremy's life will change very little once we come back to the U.S. He will still be free to set his own schedule, be digging into archival documents and pondering the layout of his dissertation. But my life will be COMPLETELY DIFFERENT. And amidst my fears, I realized that I needed more than five days in WI and five days in MN to readjust to living in the U.S. and psyching myself up for the two-job rumble. One full month is perfect.
These are the reasons behind my madness, not only because of Mike but because of my own selfish reasoning as well. This way we have nearly two weeks to plan details, rearrange tickets and say goodbye. Its not all final, as I told Jeremy to think about my pitch this weekend. But we're definately leaning, leaning, leaning.
I'll keep you posted. Otherwise, today is a shopping day for groceries and doing GRE tests. I laid out for a bit in the sun, cleaned the whole house, killed some ants, and read some magazines sent by friend Marta (thanks again!).
Wednesday, May 05, 2004
Happy Birthday, Squeak! I miss you!!!!!
I am a big ball of conflicting emotions. For weeks now, I've been prattling on and on about going home and being ready. But yesterday I actually contemplated going home in a real way, and it terrified me. That means I'll be leaving Ghana for good. Who knows when I'll be back...three years? Five? Ten? Jeremy knows he will be coming back, but I dont. And am I ready for jumping into the two job grind, bills, American culture full force? I am, but Im not. Its so funny. I dreamed of going home, I miss all my people, I get sick of Ghanaian round-arounds, but when its real, I dont want to face it. Im really complicated sometimes.
Jeremy feels the same way. Of course, this all pales in the face of his dad. If he's sick and not improving, then we're homeward bound. Period. End of story. The confusing part is that some days when Jeremy calls him, he sounds really good. He's in good hands. They found the unknown infection (in his stomach) and can prescribe specific antibiotics to fix it. This in turn will help bring down his fever and other symptoms, which in turn will let him heal from the pneumonia faster, which in turn means they can schedule the open heart surgery. We both want to be with him if he's sick. But if he's okay, then we ponder staying.
Jeremy talked to the Fulbright people yesterday. If we leave now, he will have to come back to Ghana BEFORE December 2004 or forfeit two months worth of the money. This is both troublesome and fine. Jeremy knew he was coming back anyway, but we thought it would be next summer. But if he comes back for two shorter trips as opposed to one long trip, he wont have to stress so much about the interview portion of his project. He will have more time to do them, and think about them, and know how to fill in the gaps when he comes back in 2005. Moneywise, its more for two trips than one, but with student fares, it wont be dreadful.
This weekend, we are deciding. Im tired of flopping, and things need to be done either way. We need at least a week to alter existing plane tickets or buy new ones, and we dont have a clue what the KLM situation is like. We are basically a slave to the openings they have on a flight, so if we're leaving, we will be spending Monday morning at the KLM office. But this ambiguous, not-committing situation is coming to an end. By next week, we all will know where we stand.
In the meantime, here are the answers from the earlier posted trivia questions.
CAPITALS
1. Ivory Coast
2. Kazakhstan
3. Mongolia
4. HOnduras
5. Turkmenistan
6. Malawi
7. Guyana
8. Malta
9. Mauritius
10. Bangladesh
11. Laos
12. Nepal
13. Oman
14. Yemen
15. Georgia
ORGAN MEATS
1. Cow testicles, bulls balls
2. Goose liver
3. Calf or lamb pancreas or thymus gland
4. Pig stomach
5. Pig or calf head, feet, tongue or heart
6. Cow stomach
7. Pig intestines
8. Fish stomach or liver
9. Sturgeon spinal marrow
10. Pig head
AFRICAN HISTORY
1. Zulu
2. Yaa Asante Waa
3. Maumau
4. Guinea
5. Samori Toure
6. 1910, 1994
7. The Sokoto Caliphate
8. Guinnea-Bissau
9. Milton Obote and Idi Amin
10. a) Ghana, b) Central African Republic, c) Malawi, d) Burkina Faso, e) Botswana, f) Namibia
INTERNATIONAL BACKPACKERS
1. Antigua, because of a devastating earthquake
2. April 30, Amsterdam
3. Paga
4. April
5. Nimbin
6. Checkpoint Charlie
7. Amsterdam
8. Agra (200 km from Delhi), 1653
9. Union station
10. YellowStone National Park
Tuesday, May 04, 2004
Still dont know whats going on.....
The only thing I do know is that I woke up at 6 am and went running. When I was finished, I felt great. I just dont understand why I havent been doing this the whole time I've been here. Getting up and motivated is hard, but once Im dressed and moving around, I like it. So it goes. Anyway, Im still trying to be as productive as possible while our life is in flux. Still slowly moving through the GRE books, cleaning, writing letters.
Monday, May 03, 2004
Before I forget, Happy (late) birthday to cousin Alex! (May 1) And Happy (early) birthday to Squeak! (May 5th...he'll be seven.)
Jeremy had giardia yesterday (intestinal parasite) and so he was in bed sick all day. Jeremy self-diagnosed, and we decided to follow the guidebooks and ask for the medicine they suggested. I walked to the pharmacy and the conversation went something like this:
Me: Please, my husband has the following symptoms--belching, gas, diarrhea, stomach cramps. Does that sound like giardia?
Him: So it is lumbar.
Me: No, not lumbar. Intestinal.
Him: Intestinal. So he has diabetes.
Me: No!
Him: He doesnt?
Me: No! Ugh. (pull out sheet of paper with medicine written on it) Can I just have this?
Him: Okay. Here. Im going to give you something else instead. It is the top of the top.
Me: How much does he take?
Him: All of it. Single dose.
Me: So this does the same as the one I asked for?
Him: Yes, its better. I work for the company. Take some of this too. (tries to sell me Immodium)
Me: I already have. No thank you.
I pay the 55,000 cedis and walk out shaking my head. Argh.
The medicine worked well, and Jeremy's fever broke this morning. Last night after I ate pizza, my stomach started to hurt. It felt like the first five minutes of an acid reflux attack (a tight fist just beneath my ribcage) but it never developed into a burning fist. I dont know if this means that the purple pill is working, and it stopped the attack from worsening, but whatever it was I was glad.
Still dont know if we're leaving or staying. Mike hasnt gotten over the fever yet, and the surgery hasnt been scheduled yet. We're taking it day by day.
Much love and thoughts to Mike, Angie, Dave. Im thinking about you....
